“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” —Gilda Radner
Why I Chose Therapy:
I recently started going to therapy because I realized that I have never truly dealt with the emotional trauma of being diagnosed with Lupus. Ever single time this disease would flare and affect a vital organ, my hair, my skin, or my sanity I would try to quickly get over it. I wanted to get better and forget that I had ever been through anything in the first place. I would try to rush my very long healing process, and that also included ignoring what it was doing to me mentally and emotionally. Because of my self-neglect I now deal with anxiety that creeps into my subconscious and my dreams, as well as and depression that doesn’t seem to have an end; just brief moments of pause. I understand that none of us knows what the future will hold and that is part of the uncertainty of life, but my fear of my future is becoming crippling. I find myself being apathetic towards life because I have no hope for it. I don’t see things getting better and that feeds my insecurities and anxiety. My greatest fear is that things will stay exactly how they are, this to me is worst than death. I know that I can’t continue to live like this because it will lead to my premature death, either of a broken heart or suicide, and I don’t want to be reason for my own demise. So I’m taking journey day by day. Today was not a great day, but reading this article that my therapist sent me helped to control some of my reckless thoughts for now.
Living with Uncertainty: How to Cope During Ambiguous Times
When you are living with uncertainty and feel like some of your power in life has been taken from your hands, how do you cope? How do you manage to live in that ambiguous place without falling apart or dissolving into stress and worry?
This is a challenge I’ve faced as a person living in the shadow of cancer. As a cancer survivor, living with the knowledge that your cancer could come back and ultimately end your life is a significant challenge. Finding a way to manage and live with that uncertainty is necessary in order to lead a fulfilling and whole life, as it is with all uncertainty we face.
Here are some tips on how to find peace in an uncertain time: To read the entire article click here